I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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