My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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