It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
