If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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