nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
