What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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