In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
