I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
