nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
