the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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