Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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