sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
