Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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