All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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