dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
