would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
