We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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