some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
