I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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