You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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