i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
