everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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