the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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