Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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