So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
