Me too!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
