capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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