If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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