I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just puked most of my soul out..
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