big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
