How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
