You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
