We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
