glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
