I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
