OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
there is glitter all over my balls
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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