Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
