I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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