we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
