my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
