The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
