love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
