I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
