dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
