I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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