waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
