Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
