my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I don't think brook has ever known best
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
