drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
