mondays should just be called national damage control day
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
