oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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