I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
