i wish there were pregnant emoticons
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
